Xpat: Taiwan's English Arts, Culture and Travel Magazine for Teachers & Expats

An Interview With Oneself

click here to view a slideshow of Steve's work

Text and Artwork By Steve Williams

Steve1: So, is this the first time you've ever been interviewed by you?

Steve2: By me? Why in the hell would I interview myself?

S1: You're doing it right now.

S2: Wow, you're a really weird guy.

S1: I know. I'm talking to myself and publishing it in a magazine. So, do you have any art related questions?

S2: Oh...right. How did you first get into painting?

S1: Well, I never really painted much outside of high school art class, but I drew a lot. When I was in college I lived with an art school student who used spray paint on canvas and I got into that. Just paper and stencils and some drawings, but I never really painted until I came to Taiwan.

S2: Yeah, I remember that house. Remember the time we carpeted the basement with Astroturf and the beer

spills from house parties fused our "carpet" and the concrete floor into some sort of newfound element?

S1: Are you going to interview me, or force-feed me stupid college anecdotes?

S2: You can't talk to me like that!

S1: Just try and stop me!

(Left hand and right hand begin to grapple furiously, while left foot and right foot stomp one another)

S2: (Panting from exhaustion) Fine! You win! I'll ask you 'relevant' questions, spaz.

S1: (Also panting) Thank you.

S2: How big is your penis?

S1: I think you should know.

S2: (Looks down) I try to forget.

S1: This isn't working. Let me ask the questions from now on, all right?

S2: Whatever (makes large finger 'W').

S1: First question: How did Taiwan inspire you?

S2: There are some very talented local artists and designers here in Kaohsiung. They've been a big inspiration, as well as the hordes of creative xpats living here. I think another big reason I got into painting here is because of all of the free time I have, the money from teaching English, and the abundance of cheap art supplies. Being an xpat in Kaohsiung may not offer many career options, but you can get into just about anything creative here if you hook up with the right crowd and are motivated enough to teach yourself.

S1: Why do you paint portraits on large canvasses?

S2: Besides the effect it has on the participant's ego? I use spray paint for portraits, so I have to use large canvas to create smooth graduations of tones. Also, I've found that huge portraits carry a lot of emotional impact.

S1: Emotional impact? Do you even know what the hell you're talking about?

S2: Yo' momma.

S1: You mean YOUR momma? Man, this must be what it's like being a twin.

S2: That must be hell.

S1: Totally. You also do lots of smaller tattoo-style illustrations on illustration board. Explain yourself.

S2: I use small illustration boards because I enjoy using pencil, markers, acrylic and airbrush for the detailed stuff. Basically, I do it big and simple, or small and intricate.

S1: Well, I think we have enough info for this lame-ass interview, which no one in their right mind would publish. But,.if anyone decides to rummage through our trashcan, I'm sure they'll be very enlightened by your self-indulgent interview with yourself.

S2: Thanks a million, asshole.

S1: You're welcome. By the way, if you're in Kaohsiung and would like to see more of Steve's work, he (I) will have a group art show, along with photographic installations by Victoria Seto and mixed media by Casey Lin.

S2: The show will be at the DogPigArt Café (2nd floor, 131 Wufu 4th Rd., Kaohsiung) from February 27th to March 3rd, with live music on Saturday March 3 rd at 8pm.

S1: PEACE OWT!

S2: You're embarrassing. No one says "Peace out" anymore.

S1 : For shizzle, my dizzle!

S2: (Walks away in disgust)