By Matt Gibson
Special thanks to www.Barefoot-Lass.com for permission to use all this information, (which we shamefully ripped off from her website).

10. Emergency Spray Gun
Ever been ambushed by a group of preteens with water-filled condoms and squirt guns? Let me guess: you were caught with no way to retaliate. Well, look foolish no more. Just carry around a bottle or can of this devious pressurized-liquid assault weapon. When they let the prophylactics fly, shake and reply by uncapping the bottle/pulling the ring, holding your thumb half over the opening, and soaking them in a shower of watery caramel. Sure, you’ll be wet. But they’ll be brown and sticky, running and screaming from a swarm of wasps

9. Removing Gum from Hair
Just soak your gooey follicles in a bowl of the wondrous elixir called Coca-Cola for 3-5 minutes, wipe with a paper towel, and voila! Now your hair is brown and sticky – but no green-minty blob!!

8. Clean the Grout off Your Kitchen Floor
Martha Stuart is gonna’ freak when she sees that this one got out. Simply soak the floor in the ingenious solution of Coca-Cola; mop, and let dry. Not suggested for abodes with ant problems (or those wishing to avoid ant problems).

7. Remove Oil and Blood Stains from Asphalt
That’s right. Take that gross dark spot off your driveway with the miracle-cleaning agent. It’s said that the U.S. highway patrol carries at least one case per car for this purpose. Personally, I think it’s an excuse to keep it on hand for washing down stale apple crullers found in the backseat.

6. Remove Rust from Everything
Just pour the corrosive wonder of Coca-Cola over the affected area and wipe clean. There are rumors that the Coke Company itself uses it to clean their delivery truck engines.

5. Remove the Stains from Your Toilet
Crack a can (take a moment to savor the Coca-Cola crack-pshhhhh sound) and empty contents into the offending bowl. Let sit for one hour, flush, and get ready to mess up that gleaming bowl all over again

4. Poo
Now that the toilet’s clean enough to settle down on, grab a copy of National Geographic, plop that achin’ bottom down, and take a swig of tasty Coca-Cola laxative: 1-3 tablespoons of castor oil mixed vigorously with a cup of coke, and then swig ‘er back. “It tastes just like Dr. Pepper and will keep you running like a broken faucet.”

3. Get Your Dream Tan
Ever get jealous of the way your boyfriend eyes that curvaceous brown form? The way he caresses it as he sips its sweet nectar while ignoring your needs? Be jealous no more. Merely spread a healthy layer of the delectable browning phenomenon of Coca-Cola all over your body before you lay out. Then see which curvaceous brown form he’s reaching for and whose nectar he’s…well…you get the point,

2. Relieve a Jellyfish Sting
Did you ever see that episode of Friends where Chandler has to pee on Monica because she got stung by a jellyfish? Do you snorkel? Are you prepared to pee on your friend? Consider this dilemma resolved! In such a situation, pop open a bottle or can of this magical pain-destroyer and pour it over the affected area. Yes, it’s true: Coke is as good as pee.

1. Rid Yourself of Rats
Set out a few bowls of this irresistible death potion wherever you have a problem. Then, take cover. Rats are physiologically unable to burp. Once they’ve gorged themselves on enough of this delectable bloating agent, they explode. Also works with hamsters (if you really want to try it you sick bastard),

*Most of these uses are widely contested, but still pretty funny.